Mould me after Your Heart;

Saturday, March 14, 2009

over;

Back. & emotionless.
I wanted to hand in my reflections blank. In the end, i drew a picture frame, with all the feelings, thoughts, emotions that were around me on that frame.
But there was no picture.

Maybe it's because of all I've been through, that has made me let go of things so easily, that doesn't allow me to put things, too near to my heart. If I even am allowed to have one that is. Hah, I was called 'heartless' a few times yesterday when all were crying around me but I didn't feel a thing. What to do, I forgot to pack my heart :/
Or maybe it's because I didn't really make much of an impact anywhere this camp..

OAC; heart-gone, body-dead, brain-don't know where/
Alamak.

I want to say thanks to the people who sent me (late) encouraging messages, wished me goodnight, & asked me how i was, during camp even though you guys didn't know if we were allowed to use our phones. It was touching, and really made me smile though y'all were blur..
A, I'm not in first aid! And I didn't fall down(: Hahaha, and don't worry, I did not give the campers my 'stupid I don't care' look x) M, you blur blur girl. Really thank you for your concern although you asked how camp was...on thursday night. Haha! M, don't worry, I'll go find my eng essay now okay? & N! I survived sentry duty((: Although something happened and we panicked a bit, but all turned out well. Was really touched with your messages :)) & sorry that I couldn't really reply all of you cos was quite tired..

Hmm..the only time I felt something was during store check. When I went to the back of the store, to the corner where I spent most of my time during store checks before coals, sweating, squating, tripping, laughing. I looked at that familiar half empty shelf. & saw it. The box. The plain A4 paper box. When I reached out to open that box one last time, my heart just melted. I looked inside, saw the nylon, the twine..I remembered the times we spent, I remembered you. Then I realised that, of the whole journey, thats the ones that made the most impact on me. But yet, things are so different now. You are so different now. & now, that picture only had 3 people..it won't be the same.

CF! You guys were great, really. & I won't forget our opening(: Jh, you're just the weirdest 1st I i've ever had, and you were awesome. Really, it was just so funny being with you! Shao, HAHAHAHA. Yes, yes, the once in a liftime, we managed to get the feel of how it felt to be the princess and the pea X) Instrs, you were the best (: truly, all the effort you all put in and everything, it was just a great ending for us to be with you. (:

& C, though you may not know, the small silent gesture before cf and that good morning hug the next day really made my day(: it really gave me alot of encouragement. Thank you(:

Chipped @ 12:16 PM